A special Angel X / Louise Mom 2. Angel Sean (Friend)
Just letting you know that your baby brother Alfie is sooo cute, he looks just like you! But I guess you know that already because I'm sure you watch over him from above, keeping him safe. You would be so proud of mommy & daddy, they look after him and love him very much even though inside their hearts are breaking because they would love you to be here fussing over him, cuddling him, mothereing him. Every time they look at him they see you so you will always live on through him, & they know that their precious little angel is with them every day. Daddy has gone away with work so I promise I will look after mommy for you & be there for her whenever she needs me. We sit & talk about how special our little angels are all the time sometimes we laugh at all the nice memories we have, and sometimes we cry because we miss our babies so very much, but we know you are both looking down on us & sending us angel hugs. In the short time I knew you, you touched my life in such a special way & I am so glad I had the chance to know what a very special little princess you are, & always will be. Watch over daddy & keep him safe for mommy, and when the house is quiet at night visit mommy and give her a sign that you are still near, I know she would love that. It's very hard for her while daddy is away, but she isn't alone, I'll always be here for her. Give my Seany a big hug & a sloppy kiss from me & tell him his mommy & daddy miss him so much. Have fun together & shine bright in the night sky.
Our special big girl xxx We love you so much / Mummy And Daddy
So sorry i havent been on your site for a while,but we have been really busy with your little brother Alfie.It was such an emotional day the day he was born,as soon as they lifted him up so we could see him me and your daddy burst into floods of tears,we knew all along he would have something of you in him but we didnt expect him to look just like you,you are that similar that we could pass you off as twins at the same age,he has every thing you did apart from his bob bob as you call it,he has your nose and mouth your beautiful smiley blue eyes he even has the same shape toenails and bum,its been really hard,i cried for the first week non stop,i was so happy that he was born safely and healthy but so angry that he was here and you werent,i kept thinking why should he be here and your not,who makes all these rules and decisions in life,you should of been there with daddy the day he was born,running up that corridor to see him and giving him big cuddles,i know you were there though because i could sense you around,and i know your daddy thought i was going mad when Alfies cradle started to rock until he saw it for himself,we knew you were rocking him to sleep,he is so beautiful and i will probably cry every day when i look at him as he reminds me of you so much,i just want to wrap him up in cotton wool so he never gets hurt and nothing ever happens to him.
Daddy is so happy that he has his little boy and his big girl, he talks to Alfie all the time and tells him about his big sis and all the mischief you caused,Alfie has your temper and when he cries he has your bottom lip,i see so may times in my head you sat on the settee all big and proud holding Alfie with a big grin on your face and when he is in his cot at night and is babbling away to himself im convinced you have snook in there with him and hes talking to you.
Its so so hard,i miss you so much ans i would do anything to have you back,i knew having Alfie was going to be tough and part of me doesnt want to get close to him incase hes taken away from me like you were but i know how angry you would be if i didnt love him like i love you. Its hard to with the summer coming and seeing all the little ones that were your age all out playing on their little bikes now and i think Katie would of been playing with them,every day is a constant reminder that your not here,and it would be so easy to just curl up and shut everyone out and just waste away cos thats how i feel most days,but i have to think about everyone else,i cant be selfish,i hope you are proud of mummy and know that everything i do i am doing for you, as hard as it is to keep going the thing that keeps me going is telling myself that if i feel bad or down how angry you would be with me for being selfish,i know i will be with you again in years to come and thats enough for me now,and when i do have a bad day i will sit in your room with Alfie and remember all the fun times we had together,you will always be a huge part of my life till the day i die and i will love you more and more each day,your my special princess,my baby girl.
Love you Baby Bug the whole wide world and back again,big kisses from Mummy daddy and your big brothers and of course baby Alfie xxx
Big Sister! X / Kirsty Ohara (friend)
Well you became a big sister on the 6th of May, to baby Alfie! Haven't seen him yet, but mummy says he looks just like you, so that means hes beautiful! I know your not here with your family but I bet you'll be looking over your little brother always! He's going to know that he had a beautiful big sister and now your an angel your going to be even more special to him!
We went and took some pink bug windmills up to you today! Your place is so pretty, now its summer, theres gorgeous blossom tress above and your covered in pink petals, it looks beautiful!
Only 2 weeks to go and you will be a big sister to Alfie,not long now bug,i remember been so excited at this point when i was pregnant with you,i couldnt wait to see your face and to see if you really were a girl,but this time round im all nerves and im not looking forward to it at all,it may sound horrible but if i could give him up to have you back i would,i dont mean that in a horrible way at all but i havent seen him yet and i feel like we have no real connection at the minute but no doubt as soon as i see his face i will love him as much as i love you,i know hws going to have parts of his big sis in there somewhere,if its not his looks then it will be his personality,he will do and say things that you did,i so wish you were here to see him been born,i can imagine the puzzled look on your face,mummy goes into hospital with a huge belly and comes home with a baby, ive even had pictures in my head of you holding him sat on the settee saying my baby Alfie,you would of been a great big sister.
The weather here has been great and our new garden in the new house would of been perfect for you,its big and sunny and all your toys are here,your swing,house and car are all sat there waiting for someone to play on them,your toys are all in your bedroom all tidy and its not right cos you used to pull them all down and tip your toybox all over the place,your drawers are even neat and tidy and we all know how at bedtime we would put you to bed and it would go all quiet and we would think you were asleep then we would here mum,dad stuck,and we would come up and you would have all your tops on and skirts and trousers over your arms and tights over your head,and you would put your knickers on over your nappy,or you would be the complete oppsite and strip everything off completely and say you were cold,you made us laugh so so much,the house is no fun anymore without you,it probably doesnt make much sense but when you were here it was a home,it was warm and cosy and full of good times now its just a house,quiet,somewhere where we keep our furniture and sleep,im sure Alfie will have it feeling like a home again.
I still cant come to terms with what happened i dont understand any of it,you were such a battler yet you went so quick,i still know its my fault,i gave you the grapes,i couldnt get it out,and that will stay with me forever,i just hope when we do meet again you will forgive me.
I miss you so much bug you would be a year older now doing all kinds of new things and i wont see any of them,just a kiss or a cuddle would be nice,just to be able to rock you to sleep like i used to and put you to bed all tucked up,or to bath you when you would sit till the water went freezing cold and then we would go to your room and you would insist on putting the talc on yourself and it would be everywhere,daddy would blowdry your hair but would have to shut the bedroom door and chase you round the room with the hairdryer cos you wouldnt stay still.your hair was so beautiful,daddy loved it do much,he made sure that when you went he washed and blowdryed it for you so you had beautiful shiny hair in heaven,he said he didnt want you to be tatty sweaty head,you had been at nursery that morning and had red paint in your hair and daddy wanted it to be perfect.
It doesnt get any easier Katie if anything it gets harder because the reality of it alll has well and truly sunk in now,but we struggle on with every day taking each day as it comes cos thats all we can do,we still have days where we cry and dont want to get up at all,we see little girls your age and it breaks our hearts that your not here but we try to think of the good memories we have of you and it gets us by,just................
I love you princess bug,and as soon as Alfie is here we are going home to put some new flowers down at your headstone from your little brother and a little plaque saying IM A BIG SISTER NOW.....
Love you baby girl always and forever xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Its only 3 weeks till your little brother Alfie will be here and its so scary,part of me wants him to look just like you so that i can see your beautiful face in him but part of me wants him to look the complete opposite so that it doesnt hurt every time i look at him,Hes due to be born on the 6 may if not before and its going to be such an emotional day,a happy sad day,i can remeber the day you were born and even though they had told me it was a girl at your scan i wasnt convinced until i saw you for myself,november 15th 2004 you finally arrived and you were so tiny and so perfect and so pretty,i couldnt believe i had a little girl at last after 3 boys it just didnt seem real at all,every time i changed your bum i was in shock that i actually had a little girl,i never thought for one minute on that day that 2 years later i would loose you to something so simple yet so tragic,i had so many plans for us a you got older from day 1,but i only got two years which now i believe is better than nothing at all,your still part of my family and always will be i will tell Alfie all about his big sister and how beautiful she was and how she is now a special little angel looking obver him all the time,i know you would have been the best big sister in the world you would of mothered him and loved him to pieces and no doubt tried to put him in your pram,i dont know how you would feel about daddy giving him cuddles as you were such a daddys girl i think there would of been a few fights there but you will always be daddys number one princess forever,hes got enough love for both of you and would have made special time for his bug. know you will be with me in spirit the day Alfie is born and we have decided that we are going to give him one of your blankets to comfort him.I wish you were with us to enjoy his special day when it arrives,i can just imagine the look on your little face when you see him for the first time.Life is so cruel and so hard,i know i have had to be strong these last 9 months for the sake of Alfie but i also fear that when he is born i will go back to grieving for you and am afraid it will start all over again and i will go back to square one.I try to put that awful day to the back of my mind every day and i know its going to come back and bite me on the bum and im going to have to deal with the reality that you have actually gone for good.
Your biscuit arrived last week,he is all settled in his new stable and is happy,im sure he thinks joshua is you cos every time he sees him he goes mad and gets all excited,hes so used to seeing you every day he probably wonders where you are,Daddy is back at work and i know you hated it when he went away you would cry for days and not sleep or eat,but now i need you to watch over daddy and be his special guardian angel and make sure nothing bad happens to him,i know you wont let that happen.
Guy jake and josh still miss you so much,josh had a cry the other day and guy struggling too as he feels like hes left you behind in weeton.Jake just talks about you all the time,he loves you to pieces,hes got lots of stories about his little sister that he enjoys telling everyone,me im just plodding along,living each day as it arrives,im not planning anything in advance as its already been proved ,you just dont know what is around the corner. I miss you every single minute of every day and i always will,i love you so so much bug,xxx
not got a lot to say ,all mixed up and all over the place at the minute its 5 weeks until your baby brother is born and i am a nervous wreck, everything all feels wrong,your room is all done up for you but it hasnt got your smell anymore its just a new smell and i dont like it,i want your smell back,your sweaty head smell,im not cracking up i just miss your smell and your cheery little face in a morning that always made me smile even if i woke up in a mood,you would always cheer me up,those sparkly eyes of yours would make anybody smile.we had an easter party here yesterday on the camp and there was a little shetland pony that all the children were having rides on and i could just picture you on him,he was just the right size for you and i could imagine you been all bossy and not wanting to come off and having tantrums,there seemed to be so many baby girls there too and it made me want you home even more than normal,i feel like my heart has been ripped out i didnt think i could possibly hurt any more than i already do but it just gets harder and harder as the reality of what happened is sinking in now and its not just a bad dream its for real and im never going to see your face again,your brotheres were watching a programme and the story was about having one wish and they all said the same thing if they could have one wish it would be that you could come home,jake said he misses watching you having your breakfast and taking you on the park josh said he misses your giggle and your smelly bum and guy said he misses everything,why should children their age have to suffer like this its just not fair,daddy misses you so much ,his beautiful little princess you could do no wrong in his eyes,hes excited about the new baby and said you will be here when hes born,and will comfort him when hes crying or poorly and play with him in the garden,he even said you would be stealing his bot bot and dummy,
Anyway baby bug i will be back on in a few days,love you princess xx
Our little princess xxx we love you / Mummy And Daddy Read >>
Our little princess xxx we love you / Mummy And Daddy
finally,it seems like an age since we went on here,our computer is up and running. we have moved into our new house and your room is al done and it looks lovely,all your toys and teddies are out and your bed made up. Me and Daddy sat talking for ages last night about you,about all the things you used to do and say, we miss you so so much,your new baby brother wil be here in 6 weeks and im scared bug,im scared that i wont be able to love him as much as i love you,im scared that he will look just like you and that i wont be able to look at him without getting upset,daddy is really excited he talks to my belly telling him all kinds of stories about his big sister and how much you would love him and its not fair,you should be here to enjoy playing with him,Guy jake and josh still miss you so much and talk about you all the time,they are looking forward to when the baby is here so we can all go home and take him to see his big sisters headstone and plant a special flower,i know youre around me sometimes i can feel it but some days it feels like you were never here and those are the days i hate the most,i wish i could see you just to give you a big cuddle and tell you how much i love you xxx
mummy wants you to know that just because she hasnt got her computer working yet doesnt mean she doesnt want to come and send you big loves and kisses on your special website! your room has all been done up pretty for you in the new house and she wishes so much that you could be there to see it i am sure you will know all this and know how much mummy daddy and your boys miss you all the time! sending you soo many special hugs and kisses xxx